NRI father said, I did not marry my daughter to his parents:

Some extent I agreed to the Editor's opinion but let me clear here. I think that those parents have sons only, means no daughter, they don't understand the pain of girl's parents. For me as an NRI, I already suffered lot to settle here and sacrifice to give them best education to my daughters with hope that my daughter will live her r happy life. I have two daughters, one is married to UK born boy and now living in USA and have a very happy life. His parents are in UK, they come here to enjoy their vacations and they understand that value of life. From their conversation, I conclude that they feel very happy because their son is happy.

I married second daughter in India. Our son-in-law came here, got job and couple had a very happy married life. After few years, his parents came as a visitor, sponsored here as to live as permanent. Our son-in-law's younger brother also came as a student and started to live with them. His parents are very educated, understand both cultures and drive cars. After six months, every thing is mess up- fighting and arguments started. Our son-in-law is honest, hard worker, and listen his parents as well as our daughter. I think, he can't solve the problem. As a mother, I always worried about my daughter. She calls me every 2nd or third day- tells me untoleratable stories. I have to listen her because, I don't want her to go to depression. I always request her, please don't make any remarks to them.

My husband is very professional. He was 17 years old when he landed here for education. He was also against to go to India for marry his daughter. This is my mistake to marry her there. Whenever my husband have few drinks, he becomes very angry and started to talking himself :

• Why his daughter is living as a slave?
• Why Indian parents think more upper hand to keep their daughter-in-laws under their control?.
• Why they don't under stand the culture of these countries and enforcing their grand parents rules here?
• Why they consider his daughter is lower than their son?

He has given a best education to his daughter in USA, brought their son from India and did not marry his daughter to his parents.

On the other hand, I have two sons and both are married couple years back. Ten years back, I have had a different thinking that we would live with our sons after their marriage. From my kid's experience, I feel that kids born here are very honest and straight forward. Our sons told us, " Hey, dad and mom, we love you a lot but we want our married independent life and we want to enjoy. Don't worry when you become very old, we will look after you".

Now our four kids married and we live independently and enjoyed our privacy. Now I feel that why I should live like a slave to my sons or daughter-in-laws house. If they like their independent life why we should not. Living independent life is Najhara. Once you started living independent, you will never like to stay with any one.

Tricky part is here, kids born here- like to watch television together at home , go out side for dinner, watch movies, and go alone as a couple for vacation. We understand now and we follow this. Whenever they need help to look after their kids, we do, they appreciate. Last winter they went to Florida because we offer them to look after the kids. They appreciate 100 times.

Honestly, we have so much love with our daughter-in-laws and with our sons that every body sacrifice each others. Every 2nd or third day they come to our house and most of the time they pick up us to go the parties.

Suppose we live with our son and daughter-in-law:

• We always look after their kids but no appreciation
• They feel, we are burden on them
• They feel, we interfere their privacy
• There is 100% chances of arguments
• They may become less responsible towards their home as well as towards their kids

We don't interfere any kind in their life. This is the reason we are very happy from our sons and daughter-in-laws. Most of the people think that when their kids married, they will enjoy after that. But I feel that actually life start now.

Dukhi Mother