Opinion
Gary Singh


This is not a new article for me but it is a serious matter in our society, specially in NRIs worldwide. Who is right and who is wrong?
For the past thirty years, NRIs are struggling to settle themselves in these Countries- doing odd jobs, part time study to upgrade their profession, job's stress, helping their families, and even helping in- laws. This means that first young NRIs suffer a lot.
Parents sacrifice to give the best education to their sons and send them overseas for bright future for their family. They expect some feed back from their sons and they deserve it

On the other side of the coin, girl married to their son is also expecting her independent life and no interference from any one from out siders. Some extent, she is right when she looks out side other ladies who have freedom. If any reason, she have to live with in-laws, her life becomes miserable with little arguments and time comes when she start thinking that this is not her house. At the end it leads no love for her husband, children, and does not care about his money. It becomes a major issue for her life: waiting for freedom.... freedom....

Who have this mistake? Poor young NRI, her husband suffer even more, who does not like to leave his parents because they play major role of his success and wife becomes the secondary to help her problems.

Conclusion: Every house has different situation. You are the man of the house and every body expect you to solve this problem before it becomes too late

Solution:

If you have a big house that have one bed room with side entrance, your parents can live separate from you (not sharing your house). If you do not have a big house, then rent one bed room apartment within one mile area. Let them have their independent life. After few months, they will love to live alone. Sometimes for you, it is difficult to take a decision and feel shameful action. But, you must sit with your parents and convince them that this is the only way we can live better life. Your parents do not want to see you suffering unless you don't tell them. Every Parents like to see their sons and daughtes have a happy life. If this is the case why cannot we solve this problem.

This is very practical and read this success story. Lot of NRIs are following this example.

From my advice, a friend of mine solved his problem few years back by renting a apt. to his parents near his house. After one year, I asked my friend how do your family life going on. He told me very joyfully, God damn, he should have been done five years ago... this is shame for him. First of all, his parents are very happy and they love their independent life. His parents love his wife and kids so much.

In the past, his wife always insisted him for shopping with her. Now she started shopping with her mother-in-law along with kids. One day, he asked his wife why do she love his mother so much. Answer was very clear," inside feelings". She said, when she was living with in-laws, she was always feeling that she could not sit alone with her husband in front of TV, can't go out side for dinner, can't go for vacation, and can't go movie with her husband. This is crazy for a woman, who likes to see her husband alone with her in the house and not any body else.

Now my mother- in- law under stand my feelings. We love each other. I love her, she loves my kids, and my kids love her. Dear I am your wife, I always care about you and you must care about me. I love you. I promised your mother that I would look after her in her old days and respect her because she saved our divorce, every hour stress and our kids future."

Few months back, my friend's father died. I just called his mother for moral support and asked her if she feel lonely and missing her husband. I told her that your daughter-in-law is thinking that you should move her house. She said:

  • I am 65 and still I feel young and stronger when I have independent living.
  • I have some friends, they come to my house and I go there house.
  • I have grand kids, they always come to me, my daughter-in-law always come here and take to me to the store. I am proud of my daughter-in-law and son, they promised me that they would never put me in Senior Citizen shelters, whenever I would be unable to move.

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