Who do not take dowry
and never make the headlines.
When Nisha Sharma brought her dowry-monger of a fiancé to justice,
she became media's favourite maiden.
An icon for young women, a case study for ladies' forums and the torch-bearer
of the Indian middleclass girl's cause.
But there are a few guys out there who do not take dowry and never
make the headlines.
Like this young NRI software engineer who gives Hyderabad Times an
account (on the condition of anonymity) of how his marriage ended in
a disaster.
And he believes it's because he took no dowry.
"I am a young software engineer, well settled in the US . I had
it all, a decent apartment, a nice car, a good job and an above average
pay check."
"I was perhaps a prize catch, a part of the growing tribe of 'NRI
techies' in the US . After a trip to India , to 'see' a girl selected
by my parents, we got married in the traditional way. No dowry was asked
for, given or received."
"After the new bride joined me in the US , small tiffs started
erupting over little nothings. Soon the 'usual' tiffs erupted into bigger
brawls."
"About two years into the marriage, the (now ex) wife and her
parents arm-twisted me into sponsoring her education in a town about
100 miles from where I lived and worked."
"She then moved there, ostensibly to pursue her ambition of getting
a US degree. I was left leading a bachelor's life while the wife whose
visa and Green Card I had sponsored lived hundred miles away."
"I shouldn't have been surprised when, one evening, a courier
knocked on my door to deliver the divorce notice from the wife!"
"I can't help thinking that meticulous planning had gone into
that action. She ensured that she had moved her belongings including
jewels, personal belongings and stuff in the pretext of taking them
for our impending trip to India ."
"Her dad, a senior bureaucrat, had made an 'official' trip to
the US a few months before that, to supposedly to patch things up between
us."
"I was in a quandary. I would have to prepare myself to grapple
with notorious American lawyers and I wasn't ready! Without a pre-nuptial
agreement, a divorce in the US can leave the earning member of the family
extremely vulnerable."
"In a typical filmy style, the ex-wife's lawyer, demanded a hundred
thousand dollars to settle the case out of court. To throw salt on my
wounds, the ex-wife, during a mediation debate threatened to file a
dowry lawsuit in India if I did not meet her demands!"
The practice of young NRIs demanding 40 to 50 lakh as dowry is rampant
in AP.
The narrator of this account claims at the end of his ugly divorce,
he was left feeling that if he had demanded that amount from his wife's
parents, he could perhaps have thrown it back at the ex and walked away
with only a bruised ego