By Ritesh Parekh, Hong Kong SAR, China, ( 06_20)

This was going as general tradition going in India of Arrange Marriage, the trend which is changing. I had traveled to India in June' 2002 and met Payal first time at his maternal uncle house through some channel from known sources. First meeting was not very comfortable as Payal smile was mysterious. Not a broad smile and nor reserved smile. Though their parents were present at her uncle house, it was her uncle who was the host and talked well. To me she and her family seem to be a simple family with some sort of trouble which I found on their face.

I was just looking for some simple girl and therefore giving thought twice got engaged and shortly left to Hong Kong. We got married after 6 months from engagement and I traveled immediately back to Hong Kong after marriage as I had to resume work and asked my wife to stay for couple of months with my parents in Akola (Maharastra) and join me as I have to look for new house in Hong Kong. She stayed only for 10-15 days and left to Bombay. Soon the ugly side came up in front of us, my mother was hospitalized for some major operation and payal refused to travel to take her care. On asking her why she replied as she would turn dark their and she will get bored alone. Unbelievable!!!! I fought with her and pursued her to at least visit for 15 days and she visited for 7 days.

After this when she was raveling back to Hong Kong, I advised her to keep all big jewelers with my parents as here there is no social gathering where she would be requiring. But she fought with me and my parents and brought all jewelleries to Hong Kong.

The scheme started than, when she deposited the jewelry in the locker in her sole name despite my instructions to open a join account and than also opened her bank account again in sole name. All our common savings were kept in that account say around HK$100,00/- I was under debts so I was maintaining this separate account. Within period of 6 months she transferred from this common savings INR 150,000/- to her parents stating this transfer were towards her sister's college fees, her mother operation, the shortfall for buying a property by her brother. But the fact what that never her mother was operated, nor did her brother buy any property after such transfers. We had fights on it and thereafter I strictly told her to stop to send out any single penny.

My parents arrived first time in Hong Kong (after 1 yr. of my marriage) and payal was not liking this and frequently she insulted them and fought with them. I had big fights with her and my parents had to leave early as they were treated like dog by payal, they were not in position to tolerate more. During this period we came to know she was pregnant, she felt shocked and fought with me for having baby. She after couple of months insisted to travel to India as she wanted to meet her parents. Despite my objection she traveled to India and thereafter meeting her parents they together went and aborted the child without my knowledge/ permission saying that the child was abnormal. I knew by than this was lie as my child was normal when the report carried out earlier were showing normal symptoms.

Payal after 1 month from abortion came back to Hong Kong and now stays at her friends house. She is working here and currently we are going through Divorce case where she has demanded HK$8,000/- (INR 50,000/) Per month from me and expenses of HK$150,000/- (INR 900,000/-) towards her (family's) contribution for marriage. This is beyond the savings she snatched from me of HK$100,000/- (INR600,000) and jewellery given to her during marriage of INR300,000/-.

Her father who was not stable in business earlier and always struggling in his life for Minimal earnings, is now having good business. Her brother who was out of business too now is into business. They have got enough money now, and I and my parents are struggling whatever savings/ jewelleries we had has been lost. Beyond that I face a trial which can go against me as court favours girls? Now I think is being Male an Crime itself ? I have lost child, money, savings, and peace but for all this loss also will I be punished more ?

I think I am not the only person being under such trap, but lot of NRI'S are into this! So my message is to all to be very careful before you get into life time commitment

* Ritesh Parek, Hong Kong SAR, China, parekhrb@yahoo.co.in, 852-98376500