Seema,
It is not being a male alone. Neither the dowry or
mental harassment to wife is justified. I am a male
and had huge problems adjusting with my wife. I was
extremely uncomfortable with her clothes, constant
questions about truth of my love and affection, demands
for outings and articles, when I was out of money
and I was extremely irritated with the intrusion of
her parents in my personal life and constant attempts
to expell my parents from my house as they were trying
to buy house in Bangalore and stay with us. One day
I was in office and my wife and her parents entered
in the house, and took away all the articles. While
going they left a letter alleging mental cruelty and
treatment as slave, in order to create false evidence
to implicate me in 498a and dowry cases. A copy of
the letter was also sent to my father to threaten
him with invocation of dowry law and 498a. After constant
irritable behavior, my wife started demanding 3 lac
Rs. for which I promptly agreed. Even after this she
filed a false dowry and 498a case against me and started
shouting that she fears that I will kill her.
Everyone would have believed an educated girl at
such a young age. She was contantly exploiting her
gender against me. She even went to the extent that
I made her sleep with 4 of my friends and my parents
bit her everyday, while she was with them for only
1 hour during the 41 day period she stayed with me.
Fortunately we were not arrested. The police understood
the falsity of the case and closed it i! mmediately
and made the girl understand implications of such
false claims and suggested divorce by mutual consent.
I am waiting for the arduous period of 1 and half
years to be over to get rid of such a woman. I have
many funny factors to tell about my wife and in-laws
as they allege me to be an extremely cruel man, with
some incidences like I ask her to wear saree at home,
I ask her cook food early so that I can go to office,
I do not share my news-paper with her in morning,
I called my friends once and expected her to cook
for them, I did not take her out of bangalore, I did
not go to say good-bye to my mother-in-law when she
visited Bangalore, my mother does not allow her mother
to speak in my family affairs, I do not like her father
to constantly ask my wife to start working as soon
as possible. After all this, she and her mother expects
me to visit her family and beg for forgiveness because
I take her granted for her duties as my wife. Such
an oppression of the new-age woman. When I was in
police-station, her mother said it is the question
of woman's self-esteem. I cannot but stop laughing
that a woman's self-esteem is highest when she is
with her husband and in-laws.
Family is on lowest priority for the woman and career
and her natal-home on the highest priority. A woman
who leaves husbands house over such trivial factors
is nothing more than a prostitute. The old values
are completely forgotten and the new-age woman is
trying to change the social-matrix by using these
laws to enslave men. (My wife by the way expected
me to cook food, earn money, take training for child
rearing etc.) As seema mentioned staying with husband
and in-laws and adjusting with their family playing
a good wife and enjoying motherhood, being daughter
to in-laws is slavery to the new-age woman. I am sure
Seema, you are also a good earning woman, newly married
and facing adjustment problems and your husband and
his parents are about to be jailed as you are the
strongest an! d most humane innocent creature in your
new family? God save your husband and in-laws........Neel
Grundfo, Pune, neel_grundfo@yahoo.com
