Nisha and Farzana try to save our country from dowry curse

They are as different from each other as chalk and cheese. One is an educated, smart, confident young woman and the other looks towards her elder brother before saying a word, lives in purdah and is a high-school drop-out. But both caught media attention for the same reason - turning away grooms who demanded a dowry.

Nisha Sharma, the 21-year-old who set the anti-dowry wave in motion, is enjoying every moment of her celebrity status, while Farzana, from Delhi's Balli Maran, remains tense about her future.

The Hindustan Times brought the two face-to-face and hear what they had to say about dowry, what made them turn away greedy in-laws, and about life after the flash-bulbs had stopped popping.

Nisha checked her appointment diary before saying when she could come. Farzana had just returned home from a court hearing when contacted. It was only when she was told that Nisha would be there did she agree to come to the HT office. Here is what the two talked about.

Nisha: It feels good to have been able to have such an impact on the lives of so many people. I am also meeting a lot of new people. My phone doesn't stop ringing. I get calls from people proposing marriage to me, from producers wanting to make movies on my story, from other girls who are in similar situations.

Farzana: I am happy with all the support I am getting. In our community, it is very rare for a girl to get so much support.

Nisha: It feels good to be a role model. As for my own role models, I have always been drawn to women oriented movies - like Rekha's film Biwi Ho To Aisi where she teaches her in-laws a lesson.

Farzana: Yes, I have also liked Rekha's movies - especially Khoon Bhari Maang. I still remember the dialogue where she says 'Jhansi ki raani bano'.

Nisha: Apart from films, my father has also been a great inspiration for me. He had an arranged marriage and within days of the wedding, my grandfather told him to begin torturing my mother for dowry. He refused and walked out of the house. When I saw my father being harassed for dowry, I couldn't bear it.

But hadn't she gone shopping for a lot of dowry items?

Nisha: No that was not dowry, it was streedhan. My father was giving everything to me, his only daughter, so that I would not have to struggle the way he had to.

Farzana: In our familythere is no custom of dowry. The demands from the groom were totally unjustified.

Nisha: My only regret is that now I have no time for my own studies. From netas to abhinetas, there is always someone waiting to interview me. (Nisha has also taken the political plunge, becoming the secretary of the women's wing of Maninderjit Singh Bitta's Anti Terrorism Front).

Farzana: We have had a large number of our community leaders visiting us and also television people. But we basically want the legal formalities to be completed before coming before the media.

Nisha: How is your case progressing?

Farzana: My brother (Sheikh Alimuddin Asadi, who is accompanying her) feels that younger police officers get scared very quickly. It is essential to have a seasoned officer investigating your case. We have an older Investigating Officer.

Nisha: My Investigating Officer is also very good.

What was going on in their homes when the dowry demands came?

Farzana: My marriage had been solemnised in 1999 and at that time they had said that they would come and take me away within a few months. However, months stretched into years. In our community there is no dowry. But because the groom's family belongs to another sub-community, we had to put up with all this. The night before the ceremony, they told my father and brothers that the wedding was off. The groom's uncle said that they had not got the things they had asked for. My brothers asked them what they wanted. Hours before the ceremony, they asked for 125 kg of mithai, 11 copper utensils, Rs 50,000 in cash and a scooter. There was no way that we could give all that.

Nisha: The situation was much worse at my place. The wedding guests were all present. The baraat had arrived. I was on my way to the jai mala. But when I heard about what was happening with my father, I just picked up my mobile phone and called the police. Till the very end, my father had no clue about the fact that I had called the police

Farzana: I was in purdah, dressed in the traditional yellow clothes that a girl wears at the time when she leaves her parent's home for her husband's home. But inside me, I was seething with rage. The only thought going through my mind at the time was that someone should teach these greedy people a lesson.

Nisha: I was as excited as any young girl would be who is just about to get married. But when I heard about what was happening, I, too, felt a great rage. Was it me that they wanted or was it money and air-conditioners and refrigerators that they wanted to marry? But amidst all the anger, I also had a sense of relief. It is much better that I went through all this at that point of time. Things would have been much worse if the demands would have come after the marriage.

Farzana: I agree that it is better that all the tamasha happened before the final ceremony was over.

What about the future?

Farzana: God willing, everything will be fine. If I get a good proposal I would like to get married, but I am quite prepared to support myself.

Nisha: My marriage will be a collective decision involving my parents and me. My dream now is to set up a school.

- with Kapil Dutta and Vibha Sharma

---

 

'Anti-dowry movement gaining momentum'

By Ramya Kannan

Chennai June 8. Leaders of the women's movement in Tamil Nadu have decided to make the two recent anti-dowry incidents - Vidya in Chennai and Nisha Sharma in Delhi calling off their marriages because of new demands - prototypes for young brides, harassed by greedy grooms and their families.

The women have given the anti-dowry movement an unexpected fillip, providing it with "positive role models". "This is the spark we have been waiting for. An occasion for us to take the campaign further than we could have managed otherwise," says a woman activist.

The follow-up action by the police and the media attention that these two women have attracted have helped in sending the message across to grooms and their families that the consequences of demanding dowry are sure to be severe, says Vasuki, representative of the All India Democratic Women's Association.

The courage of the two brides in reporting dowry harassment on the eve of the wedding has been most inspiring, add police officials, who believe that the cases will enable them to take the anti-dowry message to every nook and cranny of the State. "More women will be now take courage to come to a police station," says a senior police official.

The number of crime cases against women has been on the rise. In 2002, (till April 30) a total of 2,005 cases (rape, attempted rape, molestation, kidnapping, abduction, eve-teasing, dowry death and cruelty by husband) were reported. Of these, the number of dowry death cases was 89,while the number of incidents of harassment by husband and his family was 322 cases. By the end of the year, there was an increase of almost 1,200 cases in this particular segment, according to police records. Though some organisations have sounded the alarm bells, the Government prefers to look at it from a "positive point of view".

"Of the 1,200 cases, nearly 800 were registered at 60 new police stations. Last year, we opened the maximum number of police stations throughout the State. Our studies show that the opening of a "new" police station is directly linked to "increase" in crimes in the area. But the fact is that "reportage" of crimes has increased. The same is the case with dowry," the official points out.

The official argument is that with increasing awareness, the number of cases reported is likely to rise, reaches a plateau and then the downswing begins. "The reportage might be high, but the rising cases are cause for concern," Ms. Vasuki says. "Though women go to the AWPS, the treatment they get there often leaves much to be desired".

The National Federation of Indian Women representative, K. Shanthakumari, says it is more important to look at how redressal is effected. Though two `Mahila Courts' have been put in place and fast track courts set up, trial in a dowry harassment/ death case is long drawn-out and tiresome for the woman and her family. More attention must be paid to evidence gathering and framing of charges, she adds.

Police sources explain that charge sheets were framed in 75 per cent of cases registered in 2002, and convictions secured in 1,500 cases. But they add that efforts will be taken to increase the number of women in the force, inaugurate more women's courts, establish more women's police stations and conduct gender sensitisation programmes for personnel