Chandigarh, Feb. 09, 2005
Darshan Singh
In Doaba region of Punjab , where a large number
of Indo-Canadians have their roots, everyone
knows someone who is married to a NRI living
abroad. Most of the parents desire to send their
daughters to abroad, marry them to stranger
NRIs within weeks of an introduction hoping
that things will work out but become victims
of the so called "runaway bridegroom"
In Canada, from 1970 to 1990, there was any
rare case to be heard. After 1990, the children
10-15 years old who came to Canada from Punjab
along with parents sponsored cases are the one
doing shamefull acts. Some come to have holiday
wives. Others come in search of dowries. It
is also becoming a very Canadian issue
The Lok Bhalai Party is the only organisation
in Punjab and Haryana to have taken to court
more than 1,000 cases of abandoned brides —
or “holiday wives” — or found
other ways to ensure justice for them and their
families.
“It is nothing less than organised crime,”
said the party chief, Balwant Singh Ramoowali.
The draft of the booklet contains information
on the legal, matrimonial and maintenance rights
of women besides guidelines to help them identify
and deal with trouble.
Some precautions in the draft are:
Do not take a decision in haste or under pressure
Do not finalise matters on the phone or email
or in secrecy
Do not blindly trust a bureau, agent, tout
or middleman
Do not agree to forged papers or enter into
any fake transaction
It also suggests that all paperwork for the
bride’s visa should be done at her end
and not at the groom’s, and she should
keep all original papers. Besides, the man should
be made to sign an affidavit stating his present
marital status.
The draft points out that every woman has the
right to lead her marital life with dignity
and freedom and care and support from her spouse.
They should shun abuse, violence, neglect, fear
or humiliation of any kind, it adds.
Read More:
HOSHIARPUR, February 09, 2006
Khushwant Singh
TIMES NEWS NETWORK
: They were called the 'holiday brides', but
they never had anywhere to go. Now, even their
children have nowhere to go as entire generations
grow fatherless.
At 32, Balwinder Kaur of Sherpur Pucca village
is a bitter woman. Not many men have been welcomed
to her house after she got into a 'holiday marriage'
with US NRI Mahender Badwal.
The moment she was pregnant and asked him when
he would take her to America, the land of her
dreams, he abandoned her.
"These days, I just live for my son,"
says Balwinder, the years of futile struggle
showing on her face like creases.
Balwinder is one of the thousands of hapless
victims who were used by NRIs to have a good
time while on a holiday in India.
The promises were fake, so were the addresses.
Often, the person was a fake.
News had reached foreign shores that farmers
in Punjab were desperate to get their daughters
married to NRI grooms and get a green card in
the land they saw as paradise.
From there on, it was easy to trap families
and use the gullible women as little more than
escorts.
Narrating her harrowing experience, Balwinder
explains how her parents found her an NRI husband
and spent all their hard-earned money on the
marriage and dowry.
"Mahender spent a month with me in 1990
and went back. He did return in 1992, got me
pregnant and left. He came to India in 1999
and got married to someone else," she says.
There are countless others like her. In nearby
Dhade village, Fateh Singh says he doesn't want
his daughter's name to be published.
"My daughter was discarded by an NRI groom
from England. Dowry and more dowry was what
they wanted. I just wanted my daughter to be
happy," he cries.
Parents, though, are not without fault. "Parents
have at times used NRI grooms for reasons of
social mobility. Of course, they have paid a
price too heavy for their mistake," says
Balwant Singh Ramoowalia, former MP and chief
of the Lok Bhalai Party.
He is one of the few politicians championing
the cause of such victims, many of them from
Doaba region. "I'm appalled at how 117
legislators and 13 MPs have been napping over
a phenomenon that has ruined the lives of 15,000-20,000
Punjabi girls," Ramoowalia fumes, holding
politicians and religious leaders accountable
for the mess.
The police, which has shown little enterprise
in dealing with such cases, has tried registering
cases of rape to act as a deterrent, but without
success.
Extradition is a problem, says a senior cop.
He doesn't explain how an NRI with a criminal
case against him is able to fly in and out of
the country at will.
"We don't trust the police," says
another Balwinder, this time from Bullowal.
Her hopes of a happy married life with Roop
Lal were shattered when she discovered that
he already had a Belgian bride.
She gave birth to Roop Lal's daughter in 1999,
but has no idea where he is. Her father Nirmal
Singh has filed a case in court. He is unsure
what will come of it.
Confesses Gurpreet Deo, former SSP at Hoshiarpur
and now deputy secretary, National Commission
for Women, New Delhi, "Immediate steps
need to be formulated that enable families here
to know the immigration status of grooms in
a particular country."
"They also need to get easy access and
counselling at the concerned embassies. Moreover,
quick deportation of those involved in the fraud
should be facilitated." Till that happens,
brides across Punjab will continue to wait for
their husbands who never return for them.
