New Delhi, SEPTEMBER 24, 2004
IANS

Choosing a life partner is an important decision. Parents consider helping their children find a suitable partner their utmost duty and plan for it from the day their child is born.

Unfortunately, the mere fact that a proposal comes from a well do to family, or the prospective bride or groom is educated and meets the threshold to ensure a secure future, does not mean that their child is guaranteed a lifetime of happiness.

I volunteer at an organisation in New Jersey called Manavi that helps battered and abused Indian women and have seen some of the worst scenarios. Many of the victims are unsuspecting immigrants who find themselves in precarious situations and do not know where to turn.

The move by the Indian government to set up centres in countries with a high density of Indians to help Indian women in distress will certainly find acceptance in the US.

This is an issue I see time and time again within the Indian community. As an attorney, I have had several clients who have been misled by NRI men who went to India in search of a bride.

Parents believing that they are giving their daughters a better future happily accept the matrimonial proposal.

For example, one woman, who was a widow with an 11-year-old son, married a wealthy hotel owner from the US. Once in the US, she learnt that he also had a mistress.

She became the "maid" to her husband and his mistress. He threatened to have her deported if she said anything to anyone. Someone at a local temple gave her a number of an immigration attorney who was able to "rescue" her.

In another case, a woman who had a young daughter and married in the US, found that her husband sexually abused the daughter. They called the police and were able to get a restraining order.

As an attorney, I have had a lot of the cases which have ended in disaster. Unfortunately, because the Indian community does not like to "wash their dirty laundry in the open," abused women are encouraged to tolerate the abuse and accept the "fate bestowed upon them."

Women who are abused have recourse in the US. They can seek to pursue their immigration status based on filing a self petition as a battered spouse of a US citizen or Green Card holder.

The basic criteria is to show that they were married to a US citizen or Green Card holder in good faith, they were subjected to cruelty, they lived with the abuser, and are of good moral character.

The Immigration Service is sympathetic as long as the facts are true and well presented. If any law enforcement agency is alerted about domestic violence, they will act to protect the victim and prosecute the abuser.

If the abuse is documented, then you can show that the woman entered into the marriage in good faith and fell victim after the marriage.

Sometimes fate of those women who marry H-1 holders and come here as dependents is worse because if the husband files for divorce once she is here, she does not have any immigration status to fall back on and is left in limbo.

She is totally dependent on her husband financially as she is not authorised to work. What we attempt to do in situations like this is to change her status to visitor status to allow her to re-organise her life.